Whirlwind of a Downfall

tuesday, february XXX, 2008
current mood: tired and thoughtful.
current music: becoming the bull - atreyu
quote of the day: for a good cause, wrongdoing is virtuous. -- pubilius syrus



fourth grade was a transitional year. a new home with her father, stepmother, brother, and stepsister was one thing ; attending a new school? that seemed a bit overwhelming to her.

jane hadn't known that fourth grade was the year the real drama started. it was like preparation for middle school. should she sit with the shy girl from the bus that was very sweet and funny? or with the group of girls who were loud and fun at the good times, loud and vicious at the bad? one friend or four? it was a decision that didn't need to be made. soon jane had five friends, and more to come.

there was the first crush, a boy who lived behind her and liked her back, but moved away.

all that year jane spent her time trying to figure out what she wanted to be, in the simplest of fourth-grade sense. the roles were mostly played out already at this school. jane could try to fit in with the new populars, survive a couple of years and be reunited with her old friends. she could talk to the sweet kids, the honor-roll quiets who would talk about things other than how much they looked forward to middle school.

the quiets won that battle.

the custody battle, however? no one seemed to win that one.

mom wanted jane and her brother home. she was in AA, after all, on the road to recovery. she neglected to mention the three bottles of vodka jane's brother found hidden in her sock drawer.

they continued to live with dad.